Cherissa Ong and her husband moved to the San Francisco Bay Area from Singapore, excited to start a new chapter in their lives. When Ong became pregnant with her first child, she was thrilled but also nervous.
She didn’t have friends or family members who’d had a baby in the United States, so she didn’t have anyone to share with her what it might be like.
Fortunately, Ong’s pregnancy went smoothly. But shortly after she gave birth, she faced a cascade of challenges.
During her delivery, she received an epidural to help relieve her pain. She experienced a temporary side effect of numbness in her shoulder. For several weeks, she’d suddenly lose strength in her right hand, which made it difficult for her to carry her baby.
She had frequent nightmares that she had left her baby somewhere and couldn’t find him. Her fears lingered when she was awake, as well. She was afraid to let other people carry him. And she worried constantly that he would come down with one of the many respiratory infections circulating at the time.
Shortly after giving birth, she was laid off from her job.
“I was a nervous wreck for weeks,” Ong said. “I’d hide in my bathroom and cry because I couldn’t deal with the stress.”
Mental health support after childbirth
Ong talked to her ob-gyn about her anxiety.
The doctor referred her to Nazaneen Nekbeen, a licensed mental health therapist who works in Kaiser Permanente’s ob-gyn department in San Francisco. She specializes in helping women before and after childbirth.
Many new parents experience some level of anxiety. But mothers with postpartum anxiety tend to feel excessively worried and constantly on high alert. They often feel like they need to do everything themselves and that something bad will happen if they don’t. This can lead to exhaustion and trouble sleeping.
“Postpartum anxiety affects many new mothers,” said Nekbeen. “They often feel like they’re the only ones who can take care of their baby properly. So, they find it hard to relax and let go even for short periods of time.”
Managing postpartum anxiety
To manage postpartum anxiety, Nekbeen recommends making it a priority to take care of yourself. This may mean finding people you trust who can help you with your baby. Consider reaching out to a family member, friend, or doula for support.
To recover from childbirth and have the energy you need to care for your newborn, it’s important to:
- Get plenty of rest
- Eat healthy food
- Do gentle exercises every day
- Go outdoors — even just for a short walk — every day to break up the isolation of taking care of a baby full-time
If you have a family history of depression and anxiety, tell your doctor. Ask for information about mental health support and create a plan with your ob-gyn in the early stages of pregnancy.
Feeling prepared and knowing you have support can help reduce feelings of anxiety.
‘Handling things so much better’
Ong said Nekbeen taught her several effective coping strategies.
For example, Ong began journaling regularly to help process her feelings. And when she worries about having lost her job, she tries to reframe her thoughts and focus instead on the extra time she’s able to spend with her son.
She’s grateful she reached out to get the help she needed.
“I still feel anxious sometimes, but I’m handling things so much better now,” she said.
Learn more about Kaiser Permanente’s mental health services during and after pregnancy.