Melissa Fisher was losing her hair. Clumps of it. It was one of the first signs that caring for her aging parents was taking a toll on her well-being.
“I thought something was really wrong with me,” said Fisher, who works on Kaiser Permanente’s member communications team in Portland, Oregon.
She worried she had a blood issue or other health condition. She made an appointment with Elizabeth Liles, MD, who asked Fisher what was going on in her life.
“I told her — all of it.” Fisher said.
Her father had been diagnosed with behavioral variant frontotemporal dementia, a progressive form of dementia. His erratic behaviors and care needs caused significant duress for the family.
Around the same time, her mother developed Parkinson’s disease and increasingly needed her help. Fisher found herself managing the complex care needs of both her parents.
“I didn’t connect my hair loss or sleeplessness with everything going on with my parents,” she said. “But Dr. Liles did.”
Burnout in the face of responsibility
“The demands of caring for a loved one can cause emotional and physical stress on the person doing the caring,” said Dr. Liles.
An estimated 53 million Americans age 18 or older are caregivers to one or more persons who need help due to aging, illness, or disability, according to Caregiving in the U.S. 2020, a study by the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP.
Most are caring for an older person with chronic health conditions and disabilities.
“These caregivers might experience anger, sadness, exhaustion, or behavior changes,” said Dr. Liles. “Left unchecked, these can lead to other physical or mental health issues.”
That was the case for Fisher, who eventually began counseling at her doctor’s suggestion.
“Dr. Liles saw me,” Fisher said. “She recognized my grief, my pain, and my inability to care for myself while everything kept piling on me.”
